Often in our business, especially before our current crisis, we would hear comments from leaders like “I just don't have time to coach”, or “I’m too busy.” I've always thought this was just a smokescreen for the real reasons of not coaching. The real reason is that leaders typically don't know what to do or what to say,. So let's think about today’s situation. If there was ever a time when managers need to build trust and encourage open dialogue with their employees, it's now more than ever. Let’s face it, as a society, just as in workplace cultures, we suffer from conversation deficiencies. At its most fundamental level, we run so hard and fast that we often have dysfunctional conversations. Let’s look at this from a simplistic level. How often when we’re listening to people are we thinking about what we want to say next when they finish talking? Let’s be honest, don’t we all do it? Think about it. How often do we really demonstrate to somebody that were listening by taking the time to paraphrase what they said to show understanding? That’s true active listening. Lets all slow down and REALLY listen to understand while demonstrating empathy.
Here is another example. What if you were a manager that was not coaching or conversing with employees on a consistent basis? What would be your employee’s level of trust in you? What would happen to the culture as people are starting to work remotely? What would happen to productivity if there wasn’t a foundation of conversation and collaboration? Whether somebody was coaching or not, leaders today need to have conversations they’ve never had to have before. So, who is going to have the more well received conversation -- the person coaching or the person who said they didn’t have time?
Conversations Matter.
Now, what if you were a manager who was constantly coaching and conversing with your employees. Wouldn't there be greater trust? What if you’re that manager who called people into the office to celebrate their strengths and accomplishments? What if you are that manager that demonstrated active listening by not interrupting and more importantly paraphrasing back what somebody said or meant? Wouldn't there be a greater foundation to move forward in challenging times such as now?
Conversations Matter
I think about my 14-year-old, club volleyball team that I coached this year. It might've been my favorite team in the past 30 years! I have a high energy, direct coaching style, and there's a kid on my team whose father I played doubles volleyball with 25 plus years ago. He's an awesome kid and I remember during a match when he did something really, really, well but also had fun doing it. I looked at him and I said, “Ryden I love you”. He looked back at me and said, “Coach, I love you too”. And we both started to laugh. Our season got cut short, and I remember saying this to this kid, maybe my favorite kid of all time, and had I not said it I would’ve regretted it.
Conversations Matter
See, coaching is not just about directing or manipulating. It's about having conversations where we really share and listen to one another and take other people's perspectives and feelings into account. We need to have those conversations today more than ever. We need to listen to find out how people are feeling. By asking questions and listening, we can work to find out who’s dealing with this present situation realistically, and who might be emotionally out of control. These are unprecedented times that are causing anxiety and fear. Through conversation and listening, we can get much closer to helping people.
Conversations Matter
When departments that historically have not worked well together, but now must work together in a whole new environment, potentially a whole new physical location. They must find a way to converse professionally because there's no time to squabble.
Conversations Matter.
If there was ever a time to sit down with a group of employees and give them confidence in your leadership and tell them “We're going to get through this”, it’s now. “We're going to move in the right direction,” “Things are going to be okay,” that day is today!
Conversations Matter.
I think about companies today, and what they must be going through in a whole new world, a changed environment, and even dealing with new, physical places to work. I think about a company that I’ve done business with called Consero. They produce in-person events that position companies like mine to get in front of decision-makers. They do an awesome job. I approached one of the principles, Jessica, who was gracious enough to listen to some of my ideas and suggestions, and a friendship began to grow. I offered some suggestions of things I would want as a customer, and quite frankly, I don’t know if there’s a better listener in the world than Jessica. As recent events unfolded that obviously caused her company to look at things differently, she called me to continue the conversation that was already in process, not about this new challenge staring us in the face. Why do I share this? She could easily have dismissed me as she is the real expert in these types of events, but she took the time to truly listen to my ideas, some that are now being jointly implemented for the betterment of her customers and myself. This is an amazing company that takes care of its clients and its people like I’ve never seen before.
Conversations Matter
I think about a company like Titus Talent Strategies. We began working with them years ago, and one of the things I noticed that was so interesting is they have one of the most upbeat and engaging cultures promoting a “be who you are” environment. Here’s the cool thing - most of them work remotely, and now they’re sharing that environment with their clients during these stressful times. An amazing company.
Conversations Matter
I think about the Milwaukee Brewers. One of their leaders and I were exchanging emails the other day, and our entire conversation was centered around how do we stay in touch with our customers/ticketholders and help them. Think about it, they couldn’t sell tickets today even if they wanted to because operations have been temporarily shut down. An amazing organization that thinks of its customers instead of a “look what happened to us” type of mentality. An amazing group of people that I’ve had the privilege of working with for 16+ years.
Conversations Matter
I think about my two kids who are both home from college and now having to work at home. I think both my wife and I’ve done a pretty good job of conversing with them and telling them how proud we are. Now that they’re going to be working remotely and doing their schoolwork, they might be coming to my office to take advantage of my high-speed Internet. I may never have time like this again with them. As this situation improves, we may never all be in the same household again; and that’s okay… At the same time, it’s a privilege we may never experience again.
Conversations Matter
We will get through this! We’ll all look different and feel different when we come out of this thing. I am certainly no expert on these times, but the one bit of advice I can provide to everybody is to communicate proactively, thoughtfully, and relentlessly with empathy and active listening. When things settle down, ask yourself “Am I okay?” If you are, keep your head held high and go look for someone to help.
