The Progress Coaching Blog

Coaching To A Greater Understanding Of Conflict

July 2, 2020 Posted by : Tim Hagen
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This is a sample coaching map from our book series Coaching Conversations - we hope you find this helpful!

Suggested Strategy:

  • Much of the main issue with conflict comes from not understanding it. Once you ascertain where the conflict is coming from, you’re better equipped to not just temporarily handle it, but build up a structure to alleviate it in the future. 

Suggested Questions:

  • Permission-Based Question + The Sword:  With your permission, could I share some observations with you? I’ve been noticing you’ve been demonstrating issues with your teammates and superiors as it relates to conflict. What is your take on that? 
  • Risk Question:  What risk do you assume by not addressing this conflict head on, and what risk do I assume by not acknowledging it? 
  • Self-Actualized Question:  Where do you think this conflict is coming from as it relates to your realm of control?
  • Success Imperative:  What steps can we take together to successfully address this conflict today as well as future conflicts?  

Suggested Activities:

  • Practice:  Often, people who are highly conflict driven are lacking self-awareness as to their role in the conflict. Practice together some self-awareness activities that can pinpoint where they are fostering or encouraging conflict. For example: brainstorm key phrases they use and the effect it has on their peers. 
  • GOAL-Based Coaching:  Set some parameters while also encouraging the individual to grow. What is GREAT about them that they need to boost, what are some OPPORTUNITIES that they can use to grow in order to diminish conflict, what ACTIONS or ACTIVITIES can they practice in order to build those skills, and what do they LOVE about working with teammates. 

Suggested Learning Projects:

  • Journal-Based Coaching:  Have your coaching target practice the areas of concern that you discussed through your GOAL based coaching throughout the week in their daily activities. Have them journal daily two successes and two challenges they encounter and summarize their journal entries to you in an email at the end of the week.  
  • Self-Directed Learning:  Have the employee you are coaching practice the skills from self-awareness activity in order to boost their self-awareness. This will be a lengthy journey at times, so don’t expect results right away.

Supplemental Coaching Strategies:

  • 30-Second Coaching:  Let this person know when they are making positive strides toward the goal of complete success.  Take 30 seconds to tell them specifically what they’ve done well and how their actions are appreciated by you and the team. Be sure that this form of encouragement aligns with areas they respond well to when it comes to positive reinforcement. 
  • Non-Verbal Coaching:  Write your coaching target a note and leave it on their desk when you notice them exhibiting the behaviors and skills that were brainstormed in the activities section. Be specific in describing what they did, when, and why it was appreciated.

Want More Info On Coaching Maps? CLICK HERE

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About Author

Tim Hagen
Tim Hagen

Tim Hagen founded Progress Coaching, a Training Reinforcement Partner Company, in 1997. His entrepreneurial career began in college leading to positions in sales, sales management, and sales training for small and large corporations, and eventually ownership of several training companies. Tim is often a keynote speaker at companies teaching the value of coaching and conversations in the workplace. He possesses a unique combination of hands-on experience, academics, and innovative insight to solve the industry’s most common challenges specific to workplace performance. Tim holds a bachelor’s degree in Adult Education and Training from the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee.

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